My Commitment to Not Give a F**K
I am not a worrier by nature. Actually, I’m pretty easy going and in general know that things happen for a reason. Ask anyone, I’m usually the one that makes everyone ELSE feel at peace, and it is because I know that in letting go that is when the space is created for magic to happen. This does NOT mean however that I do not fall victim to the incessant voices in my head working around the clock to “figure shit out” or “minimize risks” or better yet “feel comfortable (aka stay small)”. The last couple of weeks this tendency seems to have been kicked in to overdrive. You may be thinking “You’re in Costa Rica … chill the fuck out and enjoy the beach! What do you have to worry about!?!” You’re absolutely right AND this is not a pure vacation. I’m here to test out this life of work and travel.This is my dream life we’re talking about and I don’t want to fuck it up. Only problem is instead of just seeing it as an experiment, I was looking at it like I need to know what all my choices are and have them decided with a full on strategy and plan of attack by the time I leave here. No pressure, none at all! I think at times I also make matters worse by super-sizing the fear and having it be about where I fit in, whether in the world or with my immediate circle. Questions like “So what are my strengths? Do I make a difference at all? What makes me so special?” etc were running rampant. Realizing how I was living in the land of crazies hard core yesterday, I got to the point of “enough is enough” and made a pact with myself … It went a little something like this:
“My Commitment to Not Give a FUCK: After feeling off-kilter and indecisive and unsure of myself as of late, I’m committing to an attitude of being carefree and trusting of what’s to come. Worrying and doubting myself is not accomplishing anything – my attitude is the only thing I can change here.
So I CHOOSE …. DANCING! I will have a dancing relationship with everything. With some things I will choose to sit it out for a song or two to catch my breath and wait for the next rocking song to come on. With other things, we will be shaking our booties to some merengue or salsa. Really it is about the feeling of no more stress. It will be what it will be and I will enjoy myself by doing things I enjoy! I’m tired of second-guessing and beating my brain up. It’s time to Surrender and Trust that my Vision is clear and I’m going to be taken care of … it’s all a learning experience anyway.
Plus this is the uncomfortable metamorphosis stage: I’m changing, growing, evolving. A pretty big transition so it’s totally natural to experience pain, anxiety or ambiguity. Not only am I finishing a year-long schooling and certification program, I am building my business/empire, shedding material attachments (i.e. my STUFF) and making traveling and working a reality.
I, Natalie Vartanian, commit to a life of freedom, ease, trust and confidence. I commit to being carefree and clear and faithful when it comes to the amazing vision I see for my LIFE! I’m ready…”
So who’s with me? I want to hear your declarations and commitments too!
posted by Natalie Vartanian @ 10:04 PM
7 Comments:
Oh I so love this post and especially the picture! I'm like you...a total planny pants. I support you 100% in your quest. Just bought a refrigerator magnet you might like:
"Play more....
worry less"
:)
I'm still trying to "understand" the surrender part. I used to think I understood it, now I have to wonder what I thought I got. I think I never "got" intention either because it seems that when something happens I wanted to happen I'm surprised when it happens.
Thank you Paulette! I LOVE that magnet ... I need one of those FOR SURE!
As to the surrender question, I would say first off, it's hard to "get" surrender and intention it's a bit of a paradox and those concepts don't live in your brain! "Want what you want but don't be attached, k?"
However, to me, Intention is about being super clear as to what you want so that the energy can be put in to precisely that for you to get it (and YOU will know what you are going after thus take the steps in that direction). Surrender, on the other hand, is about not putting a strangle hold on that picture of what you want so that if something even "bigger" or "better" comes along you are not so obsessed about your initial want that you are closing the door to the new opportunity!
Easier said than done, I know. But from your "being surprised" when it finally happens, sounds like you DO have the surrender part somewhat down! :)
I absolutely love this, Natalie! What a great way to turn the tables on fear and doubt - DANCE with it! And that cartoon is EPIC!!
Yeah, I've been getting a lot of messages around me about Dancing ... figured I should incorporate it! Plus I LOVE dancing. Sally showed me that photo a week ago - who knew how fitting it would be!
Hawks will not pick hawks' eyes.
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