Natalie Vartanian's Blog

It's so HARD to say Good Bye

As I start to write this post my eyes are burning from crying on and off all day and I am tired from tossing and turning most of the night yesterday. I admit it … I am not good with good byes, especially when it comes to leaving another country. My heart hurts. I don’t want to go back home. My attitude has been pretty shitty as well as I have been throwing mini-tantrums and simply getting annoyed at the littlest thing. I can’t help it. This is what is coming up for me: sadness, frustration and melancholy. Being here the past five weeks has confirmed for me that THIS is my life, this life of roaming freely and exploring and connecting with the world. I know I have my friends and “family” back in the States, and I miss them and love them dearly, yet this is my path, my purpose in life. Since I can remember I envisioned my life looking like this and even was made fun of for being fickle or unstable (as I moved from job to job and place to place), however over the last couple of years I have come to realize and LOVE the fact that THIS IS ME! I am the happiest when I am somewhere new. I am the most at peace riding on a bus through the country side in another part of the world. I am the most complete living like the gypsy I always knew I was at heart and writing about it.

We got to our hostel in Alajuela, where we are staying for the night since the airport is located here. Alajuela is like San Jose in that it is a busy city. Not my kind of vibe, but we chose to stay here to be closer to the airport. It was a four hour bus ride from Monte Verde to Alajuela. As usual, there was awesome scenery along the ride and it was a perfect time to just be with where I’m at. It was tough for me not to get teary at the beauty I will miss here. It’s been an absolutely perfect last five weeks and just like the end of a summer fling, you do not want to let go. You know it is over and it is time to move on to other experiences, yet that connection is irreplaceable. You feel like you want to hold on to it for as long as possible. Nostalgia seems to set in before it’s even over.

We definitely went out with a bang our last weekend in Costa Rica. Friday we made the six hour trek from Delicias to La Fortuna, home of Arenal Volcano. It was a private shuttle that took us to the ferry in Paquera, and then another private shuttle drove us from Puntarenas to La Fortuna. While in La Fortuna we had some ambitious plans to do a Volcano Hike and spend time at the Hot Springs, however more than anything we wanted to go hang out with the locals and dance! I guess we made that very clear in our intention since we got invited to go to the Rodeo that was in town for two weeks. Our luck it was the first night which means it was even CRAZIER than it normally is. By the time we got to the location, middle of nowhere 40 minutes away, the exhibition of horses and cows was over, as well as the bull riding. What’s left you ask? Eating, drinking and dancing of course! The restaurants, bars and clubs were structures set up specifically for this event. What was so amazing was how many people were there and in a similar vein to a county fair; this whole mini city was built from nothing. After a shot and a beer, we made our way to a packed club and the fun began. Needless to say we drank a little too much, danced not enough and had the time of our lives.

The next morning, hung over and tired, we fought the urge to just stay in La Fortuna and got on the early morning shuttle to head to Monte Verde. Thank goodness we did because what an experience! The three hour ride in and of itself was gorgeous. We took a shuttle from the hostel to a boat which drove across Lake Arenal (magnificent is an understatement) and then another shuttle from the Lake to our hostel in Monte Verde. I feel like such a tourist sometimes because I want to snap as many pictures of the landscape as possible to capture forever the beauty of the country side. Talk about an instant antidote for my not so sunny disposition that morning. We had already reserved our zip lining adventure so we took a power nap and got ready for the drive up to the cloud forest. There were over a dozen different zip lines and fun stuff like repelling down a platform, the Tarzan swing and Superman (where you are hanging from your back and literally zipping down the line like a bird). We were pretty speechless afterward. Between the absolutely breath taking canyons and mountains and the thrill of being suspended in air above it all, it is up there on my list of memorable experiences.

We capped off our evening with a delicious meal at the Tree House Restaurant in Monte Verde where they literally built the restaurant around this huge tree. The ambiance was other worldly and the food was superb. We figured we deserved a kind of fancy dinner after saving our pennies all month cooking at home and eating fruits, veggies and legumes! The next day, our last in Monte Verde, we wandered around town and grabbed some typical Costa Rican lunch (Casado) which is a sampler plate type thing: rice, beans, veggies, cheese, avocado, plaintains (and meat of your choice if that’s your thang). After lunch was our four hour bus ride to Alajuela. We chose to stay in the same network of hostels in Alajuela to be close for our flight the next morning. Costa Rica Hostel Network is awesome by the way. Highly recommend it!!

As I write the last of this post, I am back in the States and still very much reminiscent of our time there these past five weeks. We had a smooth time getting back as far as the travel, yet emotionally it was pretty rough I have to confess. Many more tears were shed as we thought about the absolutely perfect time we had in Costa Rica. However, that is exactly it … this was not just a trip we took, or an experience we had that will grow distant in our memories, it was the mark of our lives changing forever. I feel this down to the core of my being! Cellular transformation as they say.

Some of the biggest things I am taking away from our time in Costa Rica: Everywhere is my home, because I truly believe that home is what you make it. You can create a sense of community and family where you go. Plus I found a partner in crime! Sally and I travelled, lived and worked so amazingly well together. Who would have known that? We realized that the magic was with us regardless of the location. It’s a conscious choice to keep that magic alive here or there or anywhere. My personal revelation was that being present and still and living simply enough to appreciate the wonder all around made me a much more humble and awe-inspired person. Lastly, this is MY life to make of it what I will. Our time here is fragile and I’ve spent way too much time living according to other’s plans or expectations or the converse of that, my fear of disappointing others. No mas! I refuse to be on my death bed regretting all the things I never did. The one thing I will GLADLY say good bye to is sleep walking through my life, which means I say HELLO to being true to my gypsy self.

posted by Natalie Vartanian @ 10:38 AM