Gypsy Life here I AM!
Well my beautiful people … we arrived! We are in Costa Rica and loving it so far. Our journey was smooth, so so smooth. Our layover in Phoenix was super short and the flight to Costa Rica was under booked so we had a whole row to ourselves. It was wonderful! We got in around 6pm and had a cool taxi driver that gave us a deal and interesting conversation on the way to the hostel. (You know me, I love to ask questions!) What I learned about Sandro: He grew up in a town in CR where horses were not recreation, they were TRANSPORTATION. At 18, he took off to Toronto and lived and worked for four years. (Inspiring really … I cannot imagine moving to a big city after farm life, let alone to a whole other country.) Two of his brothers live in the States. He now lives near San Jose, in the town close to the airport.
Shortly after arriving at the hostel we met Cole, from Denver, Colorado at the downstairs bar. Cole has been touring around Costa Rica for two months and has another month to go. He figured he’d take time off before going to get his Masters in Nutrition, then starting Pre-Med. Smart guy and a great resource right off the bat as he filled us in on his own adventures and suggested some places to visit. We spent most of the evening with him and he even accompanied us to dinner where Sally and I tried Gallo Pinto for the first time. Gallo Pinto for those of you who don’t know is the signature meal here – black beans and rice cooked together. You can add whatever you want to accompany it: eggs, beef, chicken, avocado, cheese, etc… So delicious! Especially with this super good salsa we are addicted to now. Sally said to me after we had our first couple of bites of the Gallo Pinto: “Looks like we know what YOU’LL be eating most of the trip.” My response: “I could definitely survive off of this!”
The next morning we got up at 4:15 am (yes, FOUR A.M.) to make sure we got to the bus station in time as the “Montezuma Directo” left San Jose at 6am. From there it was to the Ferry in Puntarenas (the kind where they drive the cars, buses and trucks right onto the boat) and it was an hour ride to Paquera. Got back on the bus to Cobano, which is the small town close to where are living. Short taxi ride later and we are HOME! Took about six hours total to get to Delicias, which is where our apartment is. Of course the rest of the afternoon had its own adventures like having to go in to town to sort out the Broadband card issue, that didn’t work, and figuring out how we are going to do our work if we can’t GET IT to work! Thankfully our neighbors are super sweet and let us use their phone and offered their internet as well if need be. I’m proud of Sally for not freaking out … I saw the possibility was there for a complete meltdown since she had a full day of work today, yet she remained firm and calm. Way to go lady!
Today was our first full day in our new home and glorious is an understatement. We worked throughout the day, went for a walk on the “main” street near our place, ate lunch outside with nature as our scenery, laid out to tan in our front yard and napped, played with the neighborhood puppies, chatted it up with our neighbors and ultimately … relaxed! Tomorrow we head to the nearby beach, Montezuma. FINALLY!! The beach has been a callin and it’s time we answer!
So as I bring this post to a close – my first post in beautiful Costa Rica – I want to leave you with some lessons learned. On our bus ride to the ferry, Sally mentioned a friend of hers asks her regularly “So what did you learn this week?” and we proceeded to dialogue about our own version of the question: “What did you learn yesterday?” What an awesome way to be present to all that is happening and be active in your growth, learning and stretching! Here are some of the items on my list. Read up and appreciate the fact that it took a bit of effort to get the internet connection that is bringing this post to you today! Oh yeah, and enjoy. ;)
1. Pack light. I packed for the two and a half months that I am going to be away (going to Reno for a month and a half after Costa Rica) and for some reason thought I should bring all that with me on my trip to CR. What the hell was I thinking? I don’t need most of it. Actually I probably only needed a third of it! Big time lesson learned.
2. Design with your travel buddy. It’s a definite coaching skill, but applicable in all arenas. While Sally and I were at the airport waiting for our flight, we designed together what the next couple of weeks would be like. It’s not a onetime thing as situations will come up to continue the design conversation or redesign but starting off on that note is a great one! Examples of design items: sharing things like toiletries, sleeping preferences, alone time vs together time, extracurricular activities, places to explore, frequency of meals, etc.
3. Get to know your neighbors. Whether at the hostel or hotel or apartment, making friends with your neighbors is ALWAYS a good idea. So far we have gotten some great tips, had our butts saved and feel much more comfortable having folks to show us around. Tomorrow’s beach trip is with the family that lives upstairs as they invited us along! So sweet!
As for PERSONAL learning, the following is what I am realizing about myself and this journey so far:
1. I LOVE my life! This is how I’ve always pictured it: Take off for a month or two at a time to different countries and be able to work and play! Bonus is I am accompanied by an amazing friend to share the adventures with and write home about, which speaks to the family I have yearned to create my whole life. It IS possible and available NOW as opposed to sometime in the future when X, X or X happens. This is MY life and it is a gypsy’s life and I would not have it any other way!
2. Closer you are the scarier it is. Just because it is what you’ve always wanted, does not mean it won’t be scary as hell. Up until the day before we left I would feel the inklings of homeostasis. Thoughts would pop up in my head and they mirrored the feelings of wanting to just stay home, be comfortable and not rock the boat. Yet I KNOW those thoughts came up and with more frequency because I was getting close, like REAL close to the life of my dreams. So many people quit right before the jackpot, not realizing one more pull on the slot machine will lead to the big money! Thank goodness I didn’t listen to the voices and the emotions that wanted everything to stay exactly as they have been.
3. Be Present! I’m guilty of this as are probably 90% of the population but we’re either rehashing shit that happened in our past, good OR bad, and/or dreaming about the future. Today more than ever I learned to simply be here now. This is my life, in all of the ups and downs, celebrations and disappointments … it is the only one I have and I get to make the best of it. Besides, some amazing stuff is happening lately. I have literally been waiting my whole life for this moment so being present and enjoying it is the least I could do! No time like the present to get present.
The view from our living room (aka my writing chair)
March 31, 2011 - NV
Love MY Way ... Part 1 (of 3)
Part one in a three part series about relationships … jump starting them, lessons learned from them and designing them. Apparently love is buzzing in my ear inspiring me to write (and post what I’ve already written). This first post was written about a month ago inspired by a chat my friend and I were having.
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Out of the Box Scary and LoveJust the other day, my friend and I were discussing this amazing project we are looking to undertake. In venting all of the emotions that were coming up around it, the topic of love came up (shocker)! Right away, I began describing what I thought would happen for me and love because of this adventure. Exact transcript of my response below:
“For ME, I think me totally being in my element: gypsy life, larger than life, I am totally going to be in a space to attract the person I want. Like I won't even have a choice, it's going to happen because I'm living my DREAM! …. I know there is someone out there and it's scary to know I am going to open my heart again like the last time but MORE SO! … Yet, I know it will happen because I will be damn good and ready and he is going to LOVE the fact that I'm a gypsy and totally support it, as I travel around the freaking world ha ha ha”
After Sally described her vision of how it would unfold for her, she shared her idea with me “that a little out of the box scariness might be just what I need to help me in love.” I agreed, thought it was brilliant, hence the idea for this blog post was born.
I knew what she said was true. It hit home so strongly for me. When I was doing the homework in my head in regards to this post, I decided to take a little stroll down memory lane. No surprise that what I found was how true that statement was for me at various times. After doing a mental inventory of the last couple of relationships or romantic interactions I was involved in and looking at how they all began, I realized they all had a touch of out of the box scary to get the ball rolling!
My first long-term relationship was with someone I already knew. They had been hovering around me for a while. I actually knew when I met him … I had that fear, the little voice that said “This is going to be someone very important in your life” and then the feeling of “Oh shit, this is big.” I ignored the voices and him pretty much. It wasn’t until I did something that I always wanted to do: go to Spain, with my best friend, for two weeks that I was able to move past the fear part. Talk about out of the box scary … We did not know anyone there and we agreed we did not want to take a tour. So we just booked our airfare, some hotels, came up with a loose itinerary and were all over the country in fourteen days. We were on our own and it was AMAZING! When I came back from this trip was when I saw that person with new eyes and decided to ask him out. I was still buzzing from my experience of stretching myself and conquering the unknown! It was like I was injected with courage and the need to put myself out on a limb.
My next encounter with a boy was when another dear friend of mine and I decided to take a Motorcycle Safety course so that we could get our M-1 license. Another bucket list item that I had wanted to do forever but was scared to go through with. We had a vision of being some bad ass bitches. Finally I bit the bullet and signed up because we decided to do it together. It was nerve-wracking as hell, because all I kept thinking was “But I’ve never ridden a motorcycle before! What if I crash? I’m not going to be able to keep the bike up! Knowing me, I’m going to fall on my ass and look like an idiot!” etc, etc… First day of class though, the only cute guy there gets put in my group and it was OVER. I was one of 4 girls in a class of 25 to 30 guys. Not only did I feel like a bad ass, I acted like one. Motorcycle guy and I hit it off, spent most of our time in class together (did not drop the bike or fall once thank you very much) and had an awesome, fun filled two weeks before I moved out of town.
Which leads me to my last relationship … a few weeks after completing Motorcycle class I moved away from my hometown of Southern California for the first time in my LIFE. It took 30 years but FINALLY I spread my wings and flew away from the nest. Shortly after my move up, not even two weeks afterward, I went up to visit a girlfriend in a city I had never been to before. She introduced me to someone that same day I drove in to town and our connection was instantly apparent. Again, I had just accomplished this thing that was incredibly huge for me. I packed up all of my belongings in a Uhaul truck and drove the six hours to move in with a long time friend of mine (one of only two people I knew in Oakland). The world opened up for me literally. At long last I did what I was always envious of so many other people for: that ability to just pick up and go, live somewhere totally new, barely knowing anyone. I am positive it was that energy of taking big risks that attracted the last person I was with to me like a magnet. He had all of the qualities I was looking for in a person and was a risk taker and adventurer himself. I believe that because I was living my life in accordance to what was important to me, the person I ended up with mirrored so many of those values!
These three incidences were all spawned from this place of stretching, really expanding my boundaries, walking through the fear, and accomplishing these really big and important things for me. They were scary, but in the end, it was more exciting than scary. I see in a tangible way how being out of my element is in fact very much MY element. Pushing through the fear to the excitement was what opened up a world of possibilities in love too. None of those experiences were in the pursuit of love, however they seemed to carve out a path for love to blossom. Not only had I known this on an intuitive level, I saw that I have plenty of evidence to back it up. Thinking of this next year for me, my “bucket list” year, I know a lot of things that I have always wanted to do will be happening in monumental ways. It is going to be an action packed year, full of firsts and plenty of opportunities to experience out of the box scary.
One of those days, when I am out on a limb ready to jump off yet another one of the skinny branches, I am going to turn to my side and see someone there. Since I am going to be living my dreams, I know deep down it will be the person of my dreams sharing that branch with me. My adventurer partner-in-crime will be there not only to cheer me on and encourage me to play big, but to hold my hand so we can jump together.
February 26, 2011 - NV
Pinky Swearing and the Many Faces of Fear
Okay the title makes it sound like a more drastic post than it actually is (The Many Faces of Fear!) but then again, we act like it is a disease or something. It IS a personal experience and we usually never want to talk about it … seems to me it’s the real F word. I was prompted to write about this topic after my friend Marissa emailed me in response to my last post. Something she said stood out for me … in her exact words: “Your post was amazing because it didn't seem to mention any fear.” My automatic reaction to that was “Are you kidding me? Of COURSE there was fear.” Which prompted me to proceed to “I mean, come on, I’m going to a foreign country for a month!! I must be crazy!”
Seriously, I felt like I was in fear’s grip hold for a good two weeks. Pretty much as soon as I got the text asking me if I was open and willing to do something crazy like go live in Costa Rica for a month, the inconspicuous little cloud started hovering above me. I could not tell what was up with me but I just felt this ever so slight sadness. I started questioning things, even things I love doing and/or know I’m good at. Everything was under inspection and none of the answers I came up with brought solace. It was such a subtle thing that I did not even notice the impact it was having on me. All the tasks were getting done on the to do list, in excellence even, but something felt off.
I feel as if I barely snapped out of it a couple of days ago. In retrospect, a big part of it was fear like “Okay, so everything you’ve always wanted is here so don’t fuck it up!” and the other part was “Are you crazy? You can’t be so spontaneous and adventuresome, you have bills to pay and need to focus on supporting yourself!” I teeter-tottered between the two and both felt real and true. It wasn’t until the thought literally popped in to my head: “Natalie, you are basically living your dream life and you are not even present enough to enjoy it.” that I saw how much the fear had put me in to a trance.
When I say many faces of fear, I mean fear looks very different to different people. It ALSO can look a number of different ways to the SAME person. There was a part of me that did not even recognize the fear because it was wearing the mask of responsible, self-sufficient, hard-working Natalie. My saboteur, she’s a smart one. I call her Matilda. Matilda basically lives in the library, is wicked smart and doesn’t waste her time on anything but work and learning. Let’s just say Matilda doesn’t have a life because to her that distracts from being able to support yourself and you wouldn’t want to end up a bum or a loser would you? She’d rather be homeless than ask someone for a favor.
Yup, her argument can be that convincing. (I think she must have been on the debate team in High School, and I mean all four years!). Silly right? Exactly. In retrospect I agree. But at the time, it was a challenge to notice it and call it for what it was.
Obviously there is a happy ending to this story. I snapped out of it. Plain and simple. I decided it was kind of ridiculous that I was not reaping the reward of the hard work I went through to get to this point! I even get how much sweeter it is to be here BECAUSE I worked my ass off to get here. I plan to savor this accomplishment and every single one from here on out. It did not just magically appear … there were blood, sweat and tears. Okay so maybe not blood, definitely sweat and tears. We thought about doing a blood pact, but settled for pinky swearing. You get the drift! We committed to doing more adventurous things and look at us now. I was going to write two months, but it’s actually only a month later … after we pinky swore to consult with each other when an awesome opportunity comes up … we are going to Costa Rica to live, work and play … for a MONTH! Ridiculously crazy right?
Moral of the story: Fear is going to be there. You can either let it paralyze you or use it to propel you. I don’t know about you, but I prefer option two myself … seems funner. Try pinky swearing too … it works.
March 16, 2011 ~ NV
Shoot for the Moon, Land on some Stars
Planning for Costa Rica has definitely been an interesting exercise. There are specific patterns in the way I go about things, or plan things. I have realized there is a definite comfort IN the planning and the details for me. The stretch is really connecting with the vision and just going for it – the spontaneity and boldness and BALSINESS of jumping and hoping the net shows up at the bottom. I got clear on that when I decided to commit and agreed to take this little journey. The planning piece of it has opened up another type of revelation.
When I first was approached about this trip, I thought to myself I would be totally happy going to Costa Rica, renting a house near the beach, simply work and lay out on the sand. The fact that I am away from here is more than enough for me! Maybe throw in some trips to the local town to get a flavor of what it would be like to live there; sounded ideal as is! Fast forward a week later. At this point we have talked to a slew of people and grown a page long list of things to do, places to go, amazingness to see. The list reads like this: Cloud Forest, River Rafting, Horse Back Riding, Volcanos, Surfing, Hiking, Ziplining … literally goes on and on. These are all things I DO want to do, but it got a bit overwhelming. I had a moment of “How am I going to do this ALL while I am there?” The feeling of not wanting to miss a beat and make the most of my trip there was present and strong! The visual of a kid with a birthday cake all to herself came up and the only thing stopping me from just shoving that sugary goodness in to my mouth is knowing the nasty tummy ache I would get the next day that mom warned me about (oh yeah, don’t forget the gazillion cavities).
What happened though and what I got clear on today is that it’s almost like you HAVE TO swing out to that other extreme. Because honestly, I was in one extreme to begin with: I just want to go down there and do nothing but work and relax near the ocean. Then I found myself shooting over to the other extreme of EVERY weekend we are going to be adventuring and exploring and doing amazing things ALL the time!!! Can you tell I felt like a crazy person? Just like a pendulum, it swings back and forth, from one end to the other, and eventually slows itself down and gravitates towards the middle. This middle is where balance lies and more accurately, where “having it all” lives. I got grounded today on “It’s all good! Even if we go and do nothing, it’s all good! If we are adventuring every single weekend, it’s all good!” It’s all good because we are there.
That saying “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars” I saw clearly. There is so much benefit from that dreaming and visioning. Who is to say you won’t make it to the moon? That would be incredible! But if you had not stretched yourself to the point of dreaming that big and daring that boldly, you would not have even landed on the stars and that would have been a shame. In a way, this whole trip was my version of that. My “moon” that I am aiming for is living all OVER the world, doing what I do and making a difference. It worked out pretty beautifully that I am landing in Costa Rica along the way. Not a bad “star” to cushion my fall. Trust me, I am NOT complaining.
March 10, 2011 - NV
Putting your Money Where your mouth is!
WE DID IT! We bought our tickets last night for Costa Fuckin Rica! My friend, Sally, and I were on the phone with each other, going through the steps together on the website, selecting the flight, filling out our billing information, etc. I’m sure part of it was to metaphorically hold each other’s hands so one or the other doesn’t chicken out and BACK out. There was definitely a moment for me where the thought popped up ever so subtly and quietly of “Well, we can still change our minds. We haven’t purchased the tickets yet.” But that was the point. We both knew if we did not just BUY the tickets yesterday then it wouldn’t be real, we wouldn’t have any skin in the game, we wouldn’t be PUTTING OUR MONEY WHERE OUR MOUTHS ARE! I’ll admit a little scream escaped my lips when we finally clicked the purchase button. Actually I still want to scream just thinking about it! I mean, come on, zip lining through the rainforest – how freaking cool is that?!?! AAAAHHHH!
With all that folks … it’s official! Sally and I are going to Costa Rica for a month. We leave in less than three weeks. We plan to rent a place for the month so we can really get the feel of living in another country, to experience what it would be like to work and play anywhere in the world! The whole thing from idea to reality took less than a week. Four days to be exact! Not that I did not have to wrestle some demons in the process before I committed. Some big stuff showed up, that felt very real and scary, around my not wanting to break my word and disappoint others. Yet this was exactly what I needed to go through to get that this is MY life and sometimes you WILL disappoint other people to be true to yourself.
I got coaching from Sally, reconnected with what I want this year to look like and had the conversations with folks about prior commitments for April (and in some cases coming clean about my fear of disappointing them). Trust me, the confession felt good. Like this is all out in the open … I’m an open book. I honestly thought I used to be, but compared to how I live my life now I know that wasn’t true. This is not me at 18 years old lying to my boss about why I need to all of sudden go to Mexico for a week (and extending it to two weeks because there was a ‘family’ emergency).
The vision I got clear on though is actually that it’s about more than just how this year is going to play out … it’s about how I want to live my LIFE! One of the main reasons I even chose coaching is so that I could do my “job” from ANYWHERE. I would not have any location limitations as to how I can empower, inspire and serve people in encouraging them to live THEIR dream lives. Putting my money where my mouth was also meant that I am not going to be a hypocrite … how am I going to coach other people on fulfillment and stretching out of their comfort zone to live “out of the box” if I am staying small, safe … comfortable?!
So this CRAZY idea of “hey let’s go live in Costa Rica for a month … oh and leave in THREE WEEKS” has inspired me in not only amping up the adventure frequency, but it finally got me to just start writing my blog about this year. I came up with the idea that I want to write regularly about this year of the Bucket List/First Time doing something/Something I’ve always wanted to do/REINVENTION. It was actually a couple of my friends that inspired the idea … they made comments about just posting what I do on a daily bases so they know what is going on. (I admit, my life is hard to keep up with sometimes the pace it moves at is break-need speed). The thought had been there for a week or two, and would have probably sat there for another week or two because I was attached to how it should look. Do I wait until I decide what the next Version of my website is going to look life? Do I have a separate blog? What COLORS do I want? You get the drift … analyze it to death. Then I said “Fuck It!” None of that stuff matters … it’s about getting the word out. So here is the first entry! Spontaneous and Real (fittingly just like ME)! I hope you come along for the ride as I chronicle this crazy ass year. Ha ha
Here is to walking the talk and putting money where your mouth is! ;)
March 7, 2011 ~ NV
