Floodgates
The floodgates have flung open
And all that was held near and dear
Is rushing forward without restraint.
I fear for the innocents caught in its path.
Yet the feelings trapped for so long
Had to escape their “prison” eventually.
There is a sense of freedom
Allowing nature to take its wild course.
Hopefully the repercussions will be minimal.
Maybe those dammed emotions of mine
Will finally find a place to call home.
November 29, 2007 - NV
Molten Sunrise
I saw the most gorgeous vision this morning.
The sun was coming up like a molten sunrise.
The view was awe inspiring.
What an absolutely beautiful morning!
The kind of day that made you want to sing.
The sunshine peaking out between the clouds
resembled lava still sparkling with life,
despite its heat being dulled by the cool air.
It felt almost surreal, borderline fake;
like I was looking at a postcard of an exotic landscape.
Yet I drive by this same spot every morning.
How could I have missed so many days like today?
Somehow the dark cloud that I allow to hover over me,
has been hindering my ability to really see.
Enough is enough.
Today I stop hiding underneath my fears
and step openly in to the light.
November 27, 2007 - NV
Lost in the Fog
It is pretty amazing how you can get so lost in the fog that you actually believe you are going blind. Yet miraculously you come out of it with a renewed appreciation for the light. Being in a very unsupportive place for so long almost dissolved my faith that things could be different.
That fog which started by enveloping me at work, slowly began to engulf my relationship. It was frustrating at times, the pushing and pulling that seemed to go on forever. But again, when we finally see the light, it is crystal clear how the friction was teaching us, not only about how to communicate and interact, but about our own shadows. We are inevitably growing. Our first reaction is to resist and hide in our comforting woes, but once we realize that we are just mirrors enabling the other to see deep inside themselves, the defenses begin to drop.
I believe truly that faith has been my saving grace: faith that I will grow and be successful, faith that my other half and I will work through our individual pasts in order to allow for a future together and just plain faith that everything always works out somehow and for a reason.
Hindsight is always 20/20, so they say, but as I learn, experience and grow along my journey, I see the brilliant truth in that statement. We may not know why at that exact moment in time, but eventually it all makes sense. You have to have love, faith and determination in order to reach enlightenment ... which includes not only an open mind, but an open heart.
November 8, 2007 - NV
