Treat YOURSELF the way you would like to be treated!!
One of the biggest things I have experienced with individuals I have spoken with or clients I have coached is this lack of putting ourselves first. To take that a step further, there is a disconnect in treating ourselves the same way we treat everyone else.
Just the other day a client of mine was having an issue around being stressed. First of all, she was beating herself up about being stressed (stressing about the fact that she's stressed). So my first bit of coaching was around being gentle with herself. Obviously when the coaching went further it had to do with disempowering self talk. The A-Ha moment came when I pointed out the following: "Just like when you are raising your children ... would you be hard on them, yelling and berating? Or would you be nurturing, supportive and encouraging? Which one of those situations do you think would support and uplift? Which way of being would cause the person to WANT to change?"
This bit of coaching was crucial for even me, because it gelled for me a long time feeling which never had a concrete connection. Regardless of how we were raised, we are taught to treat others as we want to be treated...very outward focused. This is a wonderful thing to learn and apply, however, what about starting with "Treat YOURSELF the way you would like to be treated??" Be a model, an example of unconditional love, support and inspiration, by being all those things to yourself FIRST! The rest of the world will follow suit if there is a visual to emulate!
To the rippling effect caused by self-love and care!!!
August 17, 2010 - NV
Boundaries and Breakthrough
This past holiday was one of my darkest times. Yet the saying goes: "It is always darkest before the dawn." I was going through the separation with my family, as well as the loss of a great relationship. Talk about a time to grieve! Fortunately or unfortunately, events in our lives shape who we are either by the sledgehammer approach (forceful and swift) or the sandpaper approach (soft and over time). Yes, these events test us on all levels, but they also push us to stretch beyond our preconceived capabilities.
I believe there are certain basic rights we have as individuals, health and happiness being pretty high up on that list. For me, it was having to establish boundaries with those closest to me that got me to push past my OWN self-imposed boundaries. Being happy and healthy (emotionally) had become my personal mission! It was the act of me deciding what is best for ME and distancing myself from all that is toxic and negative, that got me to where I am now. I surrendered to the fact that I cannot "save" my family and that all it was doing was sinking ME. By establishing a boundary, I gave myself a gift - the freedom and room to be clear which allowed me the luxury to explore what I want for MY future!
As hard as it sounds, even if it is family, if it is causing you to dim your light or suppress your power, then it is time to do something different. I know the reason I "fell" in to some of my past relationships (and allowed them to go on longer than necessary) was because of those lessons I never learned about boundaries from my own family. So here I was ... a crazy woman! The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. All I was doing was repeating the patterns from my youth and even early adolescence, then becoming a victim to my circumstances.
Basically when I decided it was time to STOP the patterns and learn what healthy boundaries are is where my breakthrough began. Yes, the wrecking crew came in and demolished all that was in existence from my past and it hurt, still does. However, I have decided it was needed in order for me to build a new, stronger foundation. Now I get to be in control of the reconstruction and am excited as to the possibilities. I am creating the family I have always wanted with dearest friends, colleagues and new friends. Breaking through the rubble and allowing the dust to settle has provided me with a new perspective: one of limitless possibilities. Life sure is brighter and more fulfilling from this view, even more so because I worked hard to get here!
August 16, 2010 - NV
Not just another "note from the Universe"...
Recent 'Note from the Universe': "Think of someone very, very special to you. Now feel yourself bursting with love for them. Now mentally shower, drench, and soak them in that love. Now mentally shower, drench, and soak yourself, Natalie, in my love. Cascades, The Universe"
Although these 'notes' can seem very grandiose or mystical since they refer to these messages as coming from the Universe ... there is a subtle power in them, a reminder of what it takes to really be a leader.
Think of it this way, we spend all of our time and energy wanting to be accepted and loved, but that acceptance, love and PRIDE in what we do has to come from within. So in this "Note from the Universe" it really is more about realizing YOU have that acceptance, love, ability to BE and DO whatever you want! Again, Powerful Stuff! If you actually allow that truth to live within you.
June 11, 2010 - NV
